Damaging Masks

Because we are told that we need to change ourselves to fit in, we seek validation from neurotypical people in a frightening host of ways and with damaging masks and/or personas. “I’ll be the funniest person in the room, so others will like me.” “I’ll be the most aloof person in the room, so others […]

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are prevalent in the autistic women community. Why? Every individual on the spectrum is different, but a few possibilities include: unhealthy coping skills from masking, seeking validation through appearance because of social rejection, fear of food due to food intolerances, black and white mindset toward eating, and more. Please remember: Even if an […]

Overcommitting

Remember to stay far away from overcommitting. I’ve noticed that whenever I commit to a plan, appointment, meeting, etc., that I don’t actually want to go to, I wind up making decisions I regret. The world feels dark, confusing, and difficult to navigate, but since I made a commitment, I try to trudge through. When […]

Starting to Unmask

How do we climb out of masking and up into who we really are? I’ve started asking myself, “How would a conversation be different if I was not masking?” Answering this honestly always reveals the depth of my mask. The truth is: 1) I wouldn’t make eye contact or emote unless I was talking about […]

Unmasking isn’t easy

 Unmasking is more than being myself. It’s taking the time to bravely get to know myself and my needs, and then courageously asserting those needs in a world designed for neurotypical people. I’ve begun to see that masking is woven into just about everything I do, especially when I’m trying to build a new friendship. […]

First Dates

First dates are hard for just about everyone. Imagine being autistic, meeting someone for maybe the first time, and trying to be liked! What a whirlwind of a possibly painful adventure. I want to put out there to autistic people that are dating that there is a difference between masking on a first and putting forth your best self. Masking is being […]