Authenticity

“Like her male counterpart, may shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a ‘performance.’” I wear a mask so well, I forget who I am. I can make my interests your interests for a whole conversation. […]

Be Who Your Are

Coming out is never easy. For the queer autistic person, we have to choose whether or not to disclose our disability as well as our sexual identity. What’s more, the aspergirl often experiences a shifting sexual identity due to her subconscious masking, but her black and white thinking make revealing the sexual identity shift, i.e. […]

Two Halves

One half of me is solid, cemented in my special interests and beliefs. The other half is reflective, made up of mimicry, memorized scripts, and the sudden ability to be any person I need to be. This reflective side never lasts long and leaves me utterly drained. Learning to use this mimicking persona only in […]

The Spectrum Experience

Whenever people ask me about ASD and how I could possibly have it (it’s hard to see past masking), I describe it as threefold: intensity of symptoms/traits, development of coping skills, and assessment of perceived intelligence (like the controversial IQ test). After I explain my spectrum experience from those three perspectives, there tends to be […]

Behind the Mask

Behind the mask, aspergirls are often afraid. What do these people around me think? Have I made a mistake? Am I on the wrong page? Am I talking too much/too little? Am I meeting expectations? Am I being perceived as strange or a snob? Hyper or uninterested? How can I keep up? In my experience, […]

Masking

What is masking with respect to Autism Spectrum Disorder? Masking is when autistic people take on personas throughout the day in order to appear as neurotypical people. A neurotypical person probably wouldn’t notice the masking, because when autistic people mask, we are often meeting neurotypical society’s expectations. However, while the autistic person is working so […]

Burnout Self Care

When you’ve reached a burnout point, it’s okay to put up walls. It’s okay to shut out people’s voices, extra noises, sensory pain, and neverending masking. Take a sick day, or tell people you have a headache when you’re at work. Then, go home, find your walls, and recover. Just make a plan to come […]